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Can I Be Transparent With You?

PREPARE YOUR EARS TO LISTEN AND YOUR HEART TO RECEIVE AS YOU TAKE IN THE WORDS THAT LOOK TO CHANGE LIVES, RENEW HEARTS AND OPEN MINDS I am starting to hear more people use the word transparent to evoke feelings toward others in an effort to show them that they are authentic in their words, actions, feelings, or emotions. When you think about transparency, you think of something that is clear, obvious, easy to see through, and easy to perceive or detect. Going into a relationship of any kind, you are looking for someone to be transparent, but when they state these words to you, do you get a feeling of relief or do you begin to become uneasy? What if a salesman or company used the word transparency in their marketing approach, would you be more inclined to purchase their product? Would you be more likely to join a group, affiliation, association, or political party if they said that you can trust them because they will be transparent with you?

When entering into a transparent relationship, partnership or agreement with someone, the expectation is that both of you will have the ability to share thoughts and feelings of honesty, have clear communications, respect for each other’s moral and ethical values, and your actions, feelings, emotions, and words are authentic. But as time has revealed over and over, many times this is not the case. When shame, guilt, or embarrassment motivates us to keep secrets, in the effort not to harm the other person or the relationship, is when that clearness becomes distorted.

A word that is not often used within relationships, partnerships or agreements is translucent. Translucent is when a substance will allow light to pass through but it will be diffused allowing the viewer to see something that is distorted and lack detail while transparent, allowing the emitted light to pass through freely with no distortion allowing the viewer to see every detail.

We all want our relationships and dealings with others to be upright, just, and honest. The fear of your character and integrity being judged or you being ridiculed, harassed, or hurt is why some would rather cover up or tell the "half truths" than to reveal flaws, faults, and mistakes that could possibly damage the relationship.

So how do you handle the nuances of transparency and translucent relationships, partnerships and agreements? First learn to say what you are feeling or what is on your mind, but not in a judgmental way. Second, own up to your mistakes and avoid weak excuses and share the reason upfront. Third, learn how to ask questions and don't just go with the flow. Fourth, show a level of investment by showing interest and doing your part of research to show a joint effort. Fifth, be open to constructive feedback by listening, remaining reasonable, showing respect, and having the willingness and ability to change or adapt for the common good. Lastly, be appreciative.

The results of being transparent is trust, intimacy, low-conflict, a sense of security, clearer vision and purpose, and overall less stress, anxiety, and confusion. So is there any time that one should not be transparent or secretive? I would say yes, when it involves doing a good deed that would draw attention to yourself, just for the fact of saying look at what I did and when we have been entrusted to keep a secret about others and it's not ours to tell. #SPEAK2MYHEART

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