Communication is essential in any relationship, whether it is with your spouse, friend, family member or co-worker. If you looked up the word communication, you might find something that reads similar to " the act of transferring information or message using verbal, non-verbal, and written skills through the means of a sender and a receiver." I consider that to be very simplistic in nature and a pretty accurate way of defining the word. It's mind boggling to think that we still have so many issues and complaints about communication even though we have so many devices like cell phones, internet, GPS, telephones, video chatting, email, pagers, beepers, and the almighty paper and pen. So, is there really a problem with communication and if so, where is the disconnect? Is it the sender, the message, or the receiver?
Let's talk about relationships and communication. When was the last time you felt in touch with your significant other? Was it the time one of you slept on the couch because there was a misunderstanding on who was going to cook, or when you were slamming the door with some words (that you might not speak of around your grandparents) or due to the car being left on empty or possibly when you were having that one way conversation with the veins coming out of your eyes and neck because no one picked up the mail from the mailbox. I would bet someone else's paycheck that none of those situations brought you any closer together even though all three parts of the communication triangle were present. In each one of those scenarios, the message and delivery of the speaker lost its effectiveness which led to the inattentiveness of the hearer.
Effective communication requires hearing as well as speaking, apprehending as well as articulating. Productive hearing requires two things. First, it requires the right heart attitude. "This is a positive approach and a serious intent to apply the truth honestly." Secondly, it requires a willingness to work for the long haul on what is being said. There are plenty of books that deal with effective speech but the true art is in hearing. So the more time you and your spouse spend time "properly communicating" the closer and more successful your relationship will be. #SPEAK2MYHEART