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Know Your Circle


I was asked the other day about my circle, if it is getting bigger or smaller, and after thinking about it for a few seconds, I realized it was getting bigger because of all of the connections that I have made but also smaller due to the vision and dreams that I "WILL" attain.

As we look to do and be better, we often look to downsize our relationships with people that might not share the same perspective as we do on different issues. There are some positive attributes that go along with being around like minded people, such as, you might be right more times than others, have less conflict, you are able to feed off of one another, and you have that blanket of security. The negative aspect involves the lack of different views, opinions, interests, experiences, resilience, growth, empathy, and creativity.

So, what happens when you step outside of that like minded group, friendship or relationship?

Stepping outside the norm when it comes to the aforementioned relationships can cause that person to become ostracized, banned, or ridiculed by others. This is usually because they don't see the vision of collaborating with others to achieve common goals that some groups might share, but go about different ways of getting there. They might not understand that connecting with others will allow everyone to grow and make a bigger difference because they might be challenged on an idea or perspective. Finally, finding out that you are not always right or that there is a better way to do things can build resilience, trust, camaraderie, and self awareness to all.

Amazingly enough, I have found that the ones who are closest to you are the ones that offer the most resistance or division when you express your vision, and this includes so-called “friends”, spouses and family members. I listened to a podcast that made things very clear to the three groups that make up your circle. The first group is labeled as the confidants and their role is to challenge your thinking and approach you when you are wrong because they want to ensure you reach your destiny. The second group is labeled as the constituents or as I would say leeches. They mask their thoughts and feelings toward you, and although they might seem as if they are with you, they are only there because of what you stand for or what you can do for them. They will remain with you as long as you continue on their same path, but if they find someone else that can further their agenda, then they will leave you. The last group are the comrades. They are neither for you or your cause, but they are there because they are against what you are against, to fight a greater enemy. Once the purpose or the victory is won, then they will leave.

So, how can you identify who is for you and your vision throughout these three groups you might ask?

Well the people that labor with you, strive to make you better, and the ones that weep and rejoice with you are the ones that you should trust with your visions. I recommend keeping your confidants close, as they help you navigate your course but the other two should stay, as well, because they will be capable of teaching you resilience, empathy, and you will be able to gain wisdom on how to handle others in the future. #SPEAK2MYHEART

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