Defensiveness is one human nature that we are all born with and it is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation.
Why do we get so defensive? Are we trying to protect ourselves from an uncomfortable feeling or is it a sign of guilt? A person that has been hurt before could find this as a way to mask their experience of pain and loss or maybe it's a way of not becoming a failure. We do and say different things to justify our decisions that we've made or even the person that we have become.
Some forms of this behavior include teasing, making snide comments, holding grudges, and being cynical. No matter the reason, we must all let down our defensive barriers and allow others to invest in our lives at some point. When you become defensive, did you know that the person on the receiving end might have a feeling that you just don't care, or they don’t matter to you? Defensive people usually have a harder time taking responsibility for their own actions and often feel uncomfortable being wrong.
This behavior could stem from a rough childhood or traumatic past which has led them to see everything in a negative light. This is a draining and stressful way to live and possibly could render you a lonely person. This behavior could make you an outcast to friends, co-workers and family, ultimately keeping you from living your best life.
Avoiding people and situations won't make the issue or problem go away. First, you need to understand the reason you feel threatened and next you should identify the subjects that you feel threatened by. In acknowledging and receiving healthy criticism you are giving yourself the opportunity to grow and move past this behavior. Dismantling this bad habit will allow you to connect in your relationships because you will be more open, honest and compassionate which will lead you to a better version of yourself. #SPEAK2MYHEART